10:46 pm
fickle pickle
munich
by corinne bailey rae I'm so glad I've found this
I'm so glad I did
I'm so glad I've found this
I'm so glad I did
People are fragile things, you should know by now
Be careful what you put them through
People are fragile things, you should know by now
You'll speak when you're spoken to
You'll speak when you're spoken to
It breaks when you don't force it
It breaks when you don't try
It breaks if you don't force it
It breaks if you don't try
With one hand you calm me
With one hand I'm still
With one hand you calm me
With one hand I'm still
You'll speak when you're spoken to
He'll speak when he's spoken to
`
seems like these days, everyone's having their fair share of bad days.
maybe it's just growing up.
where did the good days go.
let's just migrate to never never land!
if only there was such a place
6:35 pm
fickle pickle
dreary nights
yet another lonely night!
thursdays are always silent at night cus' everyone's out.
so it's just me, the telly, the comp and the songs.
just got off the phone with my granny,
such an adorable aged lady.
i love her to bits.
talking to her makes me chuckle everytime.
it's just, she exudes an air of innocence and sincerity.
perhaps with age, modesty wears off and there's only honesty,
so i feel she's one that cannot lie.
so i know she's true.
beautiful beyond her years,
she encompasses a beauty only i can feel and see.
the wrinkles and creases - so familiar and warm.
the way she smiles her widest as she tilts her head slightly in a shy girlish sort of way makes my heart fuzzy and euphoric.
i love you granny. (:
on another note, lit was a less than satisfactory job today.
didn't manage to complete the last essay.
darn.
okay, i'm being victimised by my own fatigue.
pray tomorrow will be a brighter day (:
and i think i'm gnna keep saying,
i still miss you, don't you know..
8:54 pm
fickle pickle
the splendor of my obstinately slow tunes
another rainy day by corinne bailey rae I got taken in
We feasted on olives from the fridge
We stood the whole lonely day
We made love all afternoon
Til the stars went blue
You wrote a ballad
We dined on oysters and champagne
That's it seemed like
We connect in so many ways
So easy, I must say
Why am I so shy around you?
Why am I so shy?
Why do I take care to astound you?
Why do I even try?
Another rainy day
We sat inside by the radiator Watching old black and white films
Where everybody sang
You played in my solitude
Didn't get dressed 'til 2
The rain says all
I wrote this song on my guitar
But it didn't turn out right
So we just connected in other ways
So easy, I must say
Why am I so shy around you?
Why am I so shy?
Why do I take care to astound you?
Why do I even try?
sometimes keeping isolated can drive one to the brink of lunacy.
it's somewhat drifting in and between your fantasies and the real world.
like getting lost in your mind where pain isn't pain because it isn't real and therefore does not hurt, similarly, in the real world you get lost busying with things that make you ponder over it's importance and purpose.
it's such an arduous task making sense of what i say sometimes.
even i have to admit.
i am stuck in a melancholic cell which i self-created.
and somehow, i forgot to distinguish the key.
and hence, i am stranded alone in my own establishment.
fall into some sort of half daze where the time seems to slow when in actual fact it's fleeting.
i think i'm lost.
lost in my own head,
lost in this society,
lost in trepidition,
lost in a lazy afternoon lull.
what is life?
and when will this end.
i'd consider myself fortunate if i weren't able to think so much.
so i could free myself from my own chains.
still, i miss you more than ever.
even though i'm absolute you no longer love me.
5:09 pm
fickle pickle
the end descended like a frayed cloth kite
so this is the end, but it's really weird in a sense.
haha.
everyone probably thinks i'm the happiest out of this.
but i'm not.
i really do miss odac.
i have been missing it even though trainings were going on.
if you couldn't find the coherence in that,
what i meant was,
the odac that i miss was the one where everything was fine and dandy.
(mostly the beginning of it all).
however,
the recent odac with all its trainings is not the kind of odac that i miss.
i hope i made sense.
i don't know how this happened,
but like a kite that had its string snapped,
it got lost in the bitter wind somewhere along the way.
this kite - it was made of cloth.
& as the rain poured, it's spirits dampened.
it became heavy and it struggled to stay in it's imaginary blue sky.
it threatened to fall, to break - it frayed.
and alas, it descended to the ground in the blink of an eye.
it fell to its end in due time.
it ended all so fast that it seemed surreal.
i know the kite's there no more,
but whenever i walk under the sky,
i can't help but instinctively look up to the heavens to think i'd see the glimmer of that kite again.
nostalgia, longing, yearning, but a certain bittersweet gladness that it isn't there.
cos the sky is clear once more.
i needn't worry so often to look up and check upon the sky to make sure the kite's still flying.
the neckache from the checking is eased.
but it still lingers on now and then.
it serves as a remembrance, a memory, a vestige of the past.
& apart from this, i have to admit with candor that i feel hollow and forlorn.
i might not appear elegaic, but i wish my heart didn't feel so heavy.
it's insufferable.
makes me wish i had a more capacious heart, then maybe i wouldn't be so mirthless.
`but i know i have to get through this alone,
cos you're not here anymore
& i shouldn't expect you to..
on a lighter note, sports carnival tomorrow!
hope it goes well and not too violent.haha.
if you see 33, you'll (really) see.
9:00 pm
fickle pickle
who's that girl
i'm falling into irascible and cantankerous moods.
i hate it this way, but i can't seem to find control.
i am so sorry.
(to everyone i suppose)
i hope i don't fall into a foul and silent mood tmr.
& i miss you so much.
11:11 pm
fickle pickle
happy birthday you!
today is a very speical day ((:
cos it's the day when two of my very special friends were born!
happy happy birthday rosemary chan!
happy happy birthday clarissa tan!
i love the both of you <33
9:31 pm
fickle pickle