fickle pickle

Friday, July 27, 2007

better today

betwixt this year of ill tidings,

i've found my center of peace today. (:

which is fabulous considering the fact that i've been drowning myself in absolute, self-constructed, dolorous moods.

it's crazy, really.

sometimes i think i can't help but just indulge in morose ideas.

and such behaviour, i know, is entirely arcane and esoteric.

so i do worry sometimes if people who don't fully comprehend come across this plane.

i guess that's me being myself again-shrouded with doubts and insecurities.

of course if i had a choice i wldn't wish for this, but i really do care too much abt judgements most of the time.

which reminds me of huixin asking me abt the school graduating cert.

damn, i really don't know how to go about it.

it's like selling yourself.which is really not my thing.

self praise is international disgrace, isn't it? haha.

anyway, there was frisbee training again today.

it wasn't half as bad as i thought it wld be.

you know, the rain just makes me feel so lethargic.

ya ya ya, i'm such a lard.

haha.

competition's this sunday and ohh, that means another day burnt again!

i really wonder how i'm gg to pull through A's. /:

well, i'll always have my backup plan-air stewarding!

seriously, i think it's not bad. (:

ahwell.let's not think so much.

& thnks debbiekins! :D

ilu!haha, yea, i hope this'll be all over soon.

9:56 pm
fickle pickle

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Bushed

fwa, just came home from tuition.
and i am dead beat.
plus my curtains fell.
i am upset.
really upset, and i have no idea yet again why.
maybe this moodiness of mine is innate.
sometimes, i just seriously feel like entering a taciturn recluse.
to just shut everything and everyone out.
then i wouldn't have to worry about responsibilities, obligations, and all that pressure of working towards a goal which is entirely ambiguous, or if not, opaque.
and it's sardonically funny how despite the large numbers of forlorn people standing side by side,
they're unable to find closeness and comfort from each other.
perhaps because we all build our own defence walls all too well.
or maybe we made all the unsuitable friends in the first place, then finding out later that what you thought your friendship was, isn't what it really is.
you yearn for someone who'd treat and know you better,
and start to drift away.
seems like it's the case for so many people i see these days.
in short, these days people can't find a place where they truly belong.
comparatively speaking to sec school days, that is.
and i am so not an exception.
so, really, life is often overrated.
and i am so freaking tired.

11:44 pm
fickle pickle

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

when you're gone

firstly,
HAPPY 18th CHERLYNN CHEONG!
<333
you're a sweetheart and i hope you had a wonderful birthday :D

`
today passed me in a blurr..
today seemed hazy.
and i just watched avril lavigne's when you're gone mtv;
it's so sad really.
so embarrassing, but i teared. ):

when you're gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay

I miss you

I never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
and the clothes you left they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

We were made for eachother
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah yeah
all I ever wanted was for you
To know everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me Yea...

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you.

`
i think it was probably the old man in the video that made me tear.
it's so endearing, how he misses his dead wife.
and perhaps also because i'm feeling a tad emotional today.
sigh.

i promised you that i'll always be there rose,
and i'll keep that promise.
unconditional, alright? (:

pam, it's been really good talking to you.
i've never told you before, but i'm so glad you're arnd in class.
class seems so much better these days (:

& finally debbiekins!can't say how ecstatic i was when you told me abt your youknow!
haha :D
i'll be looking forward to see you tmr!

9:01 pm
fickle pickle

Friday, July 06, 2007

rummaging

dug up my michelle branch cd randomly today
ended up listening to it and falling asleep (:
hotel paper it's called.
and this song keeps repeating in my head

finding my way back to you

I used to get away with so much
Now I can't get away
I even thought that it was simple
To say the things I wanted to say

And you told me
Everything I wanted to hear
And you sold me
Now I don't know how I should feel
I should know me
And baby you would think I'd know better, oh ohh, yeah

I'm finding my way back to you
And everything I used to be
And waiting is all that I can do
Until you find your way back to me

What if I said what I was thinking
What if that says too much
When everybody's got a reason
I feel like giving up

And you told me
Everything I wanted to hear
And you sold me
Now I don't know how I should feel
I should know me
And baby you would think I'd know better

12:05 am
fickle pickle