11:05 pm
fickle pickle

unabashed reveries

so anyway, i can't help but think about what's gg to happen in my life.
i seriously doubt the local universities are gg to accept me.
maybe i hope they won't.
come to think of it,
maybe i don't want to do fass.
i think i'd much rather do airstewarding for awhile and then study somewhere else.
yes, i know, airstewarding isn't all that easy
and i'd probably have to lose like 5kg before i can qualify.
but, i am determined.
haha, at least for now i am.
i mean, no luck getting into out-of-reach courses like law and what not.
but even if i get into fass,
fass seems like such a dead, flat and directionless path.
at least airstewarding will allow me to travel and stuff,
and who knows?
maybe inspiration will follow and i'll know what i truly want.
actually, i know i sound like i'm trying to convince myself here with what i really want.
WHAT do i REALLY want?
i wish i knew.
sometimes just living day to day gets annoying.
don't you wish your life was planned out for you sometimes?
no?
nah, guess not.
then there's the i-am-letting-down-my-family's-expectations part.
it's sickening.
i know it's only because they care.
oh, but it's such a chore gg through all the conversations of "please try to undersatnd me","this is my life".
i can already play them all out over and over again in my head.
bummer.
someone tell me how to live.
then again, you'd probably say,
it's up to you.
only you can decide how you want things to be to make you happy.
see, thing is, i can't.
i can't bloody decide cos i'm so bloody fickle.
i am such a lost sheep.
even in love.
i don't know what i want.
and i don't think you know too.
or do you?

10:25 pm
fickle pickle

Monday, April 21, 2008

holla: DAYS

it JUST hit me that with bumming,

time REALLY flies.

and it's great.i mean not that time flies, but the you know, the bumming part.

now with the SATs exam date looming ahead,

AND having to get a job after that,

it really is a bummer.

good days are numbered :(

anw, went cycling yesterday.

it was really fun!

and i got a good tan, albeit uneven.

the east is really peaceful and slow paced.

maybe i'll move there one day.

`

new soul

yael naim

I'm a new soul

I came to this strange world

Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take

But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear

Finding myself making every possible mistake

See I'm a young soul in this very strange world

Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake

But why all this hate? try to communicate

Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

This is a happy end

Cause you don't understand

Everything you have done

Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end

Come and give me your hand

I'll take you far away..

imy

1:09 pm
fickle pickle

Saturday, April 12, 2008

beautiful like this

When I’m with you
I'll make every second count
Cause I miss you
Whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
when I'm with you

- faber drive (when i'm with you)

today marks 1mth (:

11:33 pm
fickle pickle

Thursday, April 10, 2008

pastimes

this is my very own matryoshka doll.
also known as the,
1) russian nest doll
2) babooshka doll
3) stacking doll
there are several other dolls fitted inside it and it sits on my desk-
staring at me.
sooo, being bored as i was,
i decided to sketch it.
didn't do it much justice,
but ohwell.
this is what vapidness does to a person.
and i bought clothes again!
i shouldn't be after gg to bangkok.
i guess the buffer time for restraining myself has passed!
hoho, i'm off to the art house now.
so there.
imy

12:48 pm
fickle pickle

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

shooting star

it's yet another bloody rainy day.
normally i love rainy days.
but i guess just not today.
i wish i was braver and so much more,
so i wldn't feel so horrid about myself.
ah well, i guess i'll just let things slide.
maybe i'll even learn to not be so bothered anymore.
i suppose that will be the day when i'll be brave enough to say the things i've always wanted to say.
met lalee and pam yesterday!
good ol times once again :))
and i got a surprise visit from ct too :D
best bobo ever.haha <3

`
by air traffic

Pretty, if the sun won't shine
I'll be coming up to meet you, I'll be there to make you mine
You're pretty, if the rain will pour
I'll be knocking at your window I'll be begging you for more

It's as if you've come along too soon
And I'm trying to fit you in but I can't seem to follow
You're a cutie, if it all falls through
We can piece it back together, I can learn to trust you too

You're just, too good, to lose and I can't refuse
So don't make me choose between the two
I'm fed up in here in my atmosphere
Don't you know who you are you're my shooting star

Your pretty, teach me wrong from right
Cos in love there are no answers and in life there is no lie
You're pretty, if the sun won't shine
now you've come this far to meet me and I know, I know you're mine

don't you know who you are, you're my shooting star

`
yet another great song ((:
i think i'll try to stop myself before i fall too deep,
but i wish you'd give me a reason not to.

4:58 pm
fickle pickle

Monday, April 07, 2008

Slipped away

i'd give for anything but the silence.

9:50 am
fickle pickle

Sunday, April 06, 2008

sitting on who's laurels?

bangkok birds

sober
by butch walker

Can you please, remind me how you feel?
This emptiness is real, I can't bear the thought of it.
and please, remind me how to smile, I lost track after awhile.
Is happiness so hard to get?

Is it me, or is this over?
As I got sober, I watched you fade away.
Is it me, or is this ending?
As I was pretending, I watched you fade away.

I didn't know, that time could move so slow,
when you've got nowhere to go, the silence is so deafening.
Waking up, on the wrong side of your mind.
How could I have been so blind, to see I'm losing everything?

Oh, Sooner or later, we gotta stop this elevator.
You go your way and I'll go mine, I'm sure that I'll be fine.

Now is it me, or is this over?
As I got sober, I watched you fade away.
Is it me, or is this ending?
As I was pretending, I watched you fade away.
Sober, as I got sober.
As I got sober, I watched you fade, I watched you fade.

`
pretty pretty song (:

12:01 am
fickle pickle

Friday, April 04, 2008

<\3

mitchell sits on an apple tree thinking,
you'll never catch me.

hayley looks up,
eyes a wide
and pauses to think a while.
reaching for the nearest branch, she starts
to climb the apple tree.

it isn't that hard a climb,
she thought to herself.

an apple fell, just before hayley
could reach the third branch.
hanging with one hand,
it was a dangerous but she held on.
no matter what, that
game of theirs would still go on.

`
the whole text doesn't make any sense.
and it shouldn't.
only thing that does, is the beginning.
only the very beginning.
if you're clever enough to see.

12:38 pm
fickle pickle

Thursday, April 03, 2008

my wayward ways

penned by me.

do you see what i see;

do you feel what i feel.

do you really miss me today?

sorry for my wayward way.

i'm locking myself up.

i don't know what else to think;

don't know what else to say.

sorry for my wayward way.

it makes me doleful to think

of you and your face.

the pain you cannot allay;

sorry for my wayward way.

`

another one of those days.

one of those moods and blues.

how i wish i could chase them away.

times like these, it's good and bad to be alone.

good, so that you don't have to explain yourself.

bad, because it makes you sink deeper into your morose-ness (if there's such a term).

anyhow, you who are reading this,

please don't judge me.

please don't tease me.

because i loathe the very act.

10:35 pm
fickle pickle